I'll be honest, the writing is not coming terribly easy. The focus of the novel keeps changing and my original outline has been thrown out the window. The working title isn't working. The content is more draining on me than I could have imagined, and I've only just begun. For instance, yesterday I was working on a scene that I really wanted to loosely base off of personal experience but I had to keep stopping because of how upset I was getting. I went to work my night shift in a sour mood and a co-worker pointed out that perhaps the writing is part of what is bothering me. I hadn't considered it. I didn't think it would put me in so dark a place so quickly.
I allow myself breaks every five hundred words or so. I stretch. Check the mail (compulsively, for some dumb reason.) Make more coffee or tea. I seek encouragement/motivation via friends who I know are interested in the project, but also through vague updates on facebook and twitter. It's hard not to feel very alone. After all, I am sitting by myself all day, spending my time digging up difficult emotions and attempting to arrange them in a coherent and not-so-melodramatic style. I want the story to be true-to-life but also accessible. I want to allow others access to the experiences but not turn them off with negativity. It means everything to me at this moment to just get this right. It's shaping up to be quite a challenge.
Again: positivity, happy thoughts, coffee, snacks, hugs, moral support, and general encouragement are going a long way right now. Thanks, everyone.
I'll post again in a few days. My next goal is to hit 10,000 words and select some piece from it to read at the next Spiderweb Salon! If you are a twitter nerd, you can follow my rather mundane progress posts @fiveglue.
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